View from the Cab: An ag letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been a good farmer this year and would like several things for Christmas but I am not sure they would fit in your sleigh.

First of all, I would like to see at least $5.00 corn by the end of the year. I could have asked for $7.00 but I realize that is just too much to ask in these times. While you’re at it, throw in some $11.00 beans. Anything is better than $3.50 corn and $9.50 beans. Also, large yields in 2017 are welcome. We just need to keep those prices up and we’ll be set!

In addition to peace on Earth and good will toward men, I wish for a smooth transition of power for the United States Department of Agriculture in January. I hope lawmakers leave our safety net programs in place and don’t mess with the American farmer. My fingers are crossed for an appropriate and fair farm bill in 2018.

I wouldn’t mind having the latest agricultural bells and whistles either. I want a tractor that can automatically open and close the door and travel throughout the field while making a complete turn at the end so I really don’t have to do anything in the cab. This would allow me to catch up on office work and e-mails during the busy seasons. A flat screen television should be mounted in the corner so I won’t miss my favorite prime time show. This cab should also have a touchscreen so I can keep up on the latest Facebook and Twitter trends.

Rather than lumps of coal in my stocking, I would appreciate new nuts and bolts of various sizes in case I break anything on the farm equipment next year. You could even throw in a few candy bars and cans of pop so I will be refreshed during those spring and fall afternoons. A new coffee thermos wouldn’t be out of the question either since one can never have too many thermoses around.

One more thing, Mr. Claus – enjoy those cups of milk and warm cookies on Christmas Eve and remember to thank those of us in the farming community for providing the ingredients in the treats you indulge in each year.